The day I woke up and realized that most of the activities that I carry out on a daily basis is soley to ensure my survival was a great "AH HA" moment for me. It really changed the way I viewed the activities of daily life and my attitude towards routine tasks and even the challenges that I encounter. +Rich Jones tweeted the other day that he spend two and a half hours cooking a meal and then cleaning up and wondered if that is really life! Some of the replies were bluntly "yes"! I read an article sometime ago on the topic of different species and how long it took to get the offsprings self sufficient. It was duly noted that the human specy was the only one that took upwards of twenty (20) years! These days it seem to be taking even longer, there are many publications, even stand up comedy acts on this topic.
For my generation - at least the people I went to school with, relatives and generally the people I knew - we couldnt wait to be eighteen so we could legally leave home and be on our own. The thing is, we were prepared to be responsible at young age. All the households I knew growing up children were given responsibilities very young. That's how we learned. For instance, before we could talk properly, parents wrote items on a list and send us to the corner shop. Mind you, in those days everybody was protective of children and acted as parents. By the time you could talk they didnt bother writing a list, we had to remember because there was no telephone. If you get to the shop and dont remember, you would have to go home and go all the way back again. Then you might be shamed for not being able to remember one or two items. Different generation, different times.
But seriously though, I've been responsible all my life, I dont know any other way of being. When we were young girls at home, my sister and I took care of our younger brothers and sister. We did our uniforms for high school - washed, starched and ironed them. We also took care of the school clothes for our siblings. My parents didnt have time for flower gardens. Every now and then my father would plant shrubs, and he kept the trees and hedges trimmed. My mother planted vegitables everywhere she could, so it was not uncommon for her to "stick" broad beans in the flower garden my sister and I made. Us girls were gardeners, so were our cousins and therefore we always had our little compitions going - who had the best garden. We used to exchange plant cuttings and it was quite the thing when we visited someone with exotic flowers in their garden to get seeds, cuttings and suckers! We would head home with glee.
In addition, we kept the house. That allowed my mother time to sew and do her farm chores. As we got older, we also took over the cooking on weekends and holidays. But again, it wasnt only us, all the households in our community ran the same way. But guess what, my sister and every single one of my cousins and other members from my community have lived responsible, successful lives and have raised successful children. Those early years were definitely solid training for us so no matter which country we ended up migrating to, we were able to settle in, adapt and live fullfilling lives.
Some of the most cherished memories I have are of the well kept properties where I grew up and went to school. There is one particular property which I always admired when I rode the bus to school. The Sharpe property in Trout Hall. I have this vivid memory of this large house at the top of a gently sloping hill with wrap-around varandah. There were orange groves all around the house nicely spaced, with lawn grass well maintained and the root of the trees near the house were white-washed. Stones lined the walkway up to the house - a long walkway, were whitewashed with flowers along the paths. I didnt go to Jamaica for quite a few years and when I drove through Trout Hall I was so dissappointed and disgusted to see how run down the property had become. My speculation is the old generation of owners had died off and the ones who inherited the property were not taking care of if. The pride of ownership had vanished!
Living and raising a family in a big metropolis like Toronto, or anywhere in the GTA is like being on a treadmill. But I did it. And for the most part I did it alone having separated and divorced after twelve years in the marriage. I mostly took care of others. My children, family members and others I helped out with this or that, there was hardly any time to focus on me.
There were times when I felt like an "it", a non person. Then life changed - the children grew up and so I had to learn to focus on me. All of a sudden I am spending time with myself! There is such a time as spending time with oneself. That was scary. I'm doing yoga, meditation, I'm learning to golf and meeting new people. Wow, I used to get so much done though, and now I can barely keep up with just looking after me. Well, well, no, I'm no longer cutting the grass, doing a couple loads of laundry and preparing dinner before I leave for work. I'm spending time meditating, reading, streatching - that's before I leave my room in the mornings. That's like an hour to hour and a half. I'm now into smoothies too, so prepping my veggies, herbs and fruits take time. Then I go for a walk before getting ready for work. All this to stay fit, vibrant and alert. My thing is if I'm going to get old, I'm going to do my part to get there as healthy and happy as I can.
Finally, I'm living life on my terms. I take care of my self, I take care of my garden (spring to fall). I'm still taking care of my little corner of Eden and I am loving it.
MissSam
June 28 2013
