The Dangers Of Unexpressed Anger And Hurt

In 2019 I spent a great deal of time on my personal development and I can say it was very rewarding. This blog was published on January 24, 2019.  I am republishing it today January 3, 2020 because I feel this is a good time to be reminded of this important aspect of our being. Oh, by the way, a week or so ago after my morning meditation this dropped into my spirit "The scriptures tell us how to live, what to do or what not to do, but it does not give us the how to.  Why? That's where our individual gifts and talents come in." 👇👇👇

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Everybody wants to be heard.  Everybody needs to be heard!  Awareness is the key to advancement. Education brings awareness, but to get to the level of awareness where we are able to live a full and happy life we need to be intentional about our own personal growth.  According to a study conducted by Napoleon Hill, author of the world's all time best selling book Think And Grow Rich, back in the early 1900's, only two people out of every 100 are born equipped with the awareness of how to create riches.  He spoke of financial riches, but I imagine that emotional awareness is no different.

+Oprah Winfrey is perhaps the one individual who has become a billionaire by growing her emotional and spiritual awareness and sharing her her journey with the entire world.  Herein lies the power of awareness and self-discovery!  +Deepak Chopra has stated that we are awareness and I can certainly understand why he would take that position.

Barriers to awareness (now popularly known as being "woke") are lack of education and exposure to other ways of thinking from our own families and communities and being closed minded. We as a society tend to forget that access to full education only really became available to the masses less that 100 years ago and free secondary school education has been made available to most people for less than 75 years!  There are still countries where full free primary and secondary school education is still not available, and even if it is available it is not accessible, just pause and think about it for a minute.  On Monday January 21st, 2019 the United States Of America celebrated Martin Luther King Day, and it was the 60th anniversary of Dr. King's famous "I have a dream" speech. So just for context, sixty years ago Martin Luther King was assassinated for advocating for a better life for all people, not just people of colour. Let that sink in!  So even the ruling class, the leaders of the country and the majority of their supporters, lacked the awareness of the need for equality for all human beings.  The need to be seen and heard.  The need to be respected and looked upon as equal in the ideals of the nation - love, life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.  They, the leaders, may have been educated but they lacked awareness and or  courage.

Let us now take this to the individual and family level.  Access to education means that more families are now able to advance in the their chosen field of study hence the great leap in the prosperity of the people in this generation in my lifetime.   Some countries more than others, but especially countries in the top twenty category (G20). What we find though is the lack of advancement in the thinking of how to solve some of humanity's pressing issues, problems that start with families and filter out into society, by the people in positions of power.  The information and knowledge is available in abundance, but the people charged with making laws and policies are stuck somewhere in the past.

 I remember in my mid twenties I was married with a young child and some issues arose between myself and my husband. Naturally, I turned to the individual in the family that I thought was most equipped to help, qualified at the highest level in the field of education, I set up a meeting and all three of us set out for the meeting.  The first sentence out of the relatives mouth let me know that I made a wrong call but I would not have known this unless I tried. I left feeling disappointed, puzzled and confused. How could someone educated at that level not be more aware?

That was where my journey into understanding human behaviour started in earnest.  I bought books and sought out people trained in the fields of human behaviour and psychology and tried to learn as much as I could.  My learning did not save my marriage because I eventually divorced my husband. He was stuck and used his own intelligence against himself.  It did, however, save me and my children and I am so grateful that God put this spirit in me that tells me there has to be more to it than that, so I keep seeking. I am still learning, and growing and will continue until the Lord calls me home.

I have seen the dangers of unexpressed anger and hurt.  I have seen families deal with the destruction of property and life caused by anger and pain that was not handled properly, or not handled at all. I have seen individuals sunk into great depression, I have heard of the suicides.  Anger and pain take their toll on the individual, but the whole family suffers because of conflicts and separation.  Communities suffer, all of society suffers.

I have also seen the positive outcomes in the lives of individuals and families where the proper steps are taken to heal.  No matter how great a Christian we are, some problems are bigger than us and we need outside help and guidance to get over them. We need to trust that all knowledge come from God and as the scripture says "Where there is no [wise, intelligent] guidance, the people fall [and go off course like a ship without a helm], but in the abundance of [wise and godly] counselors there is victory. - Proverbs 11:14

After being exposed to the concept of Emotional Intelligence for many years, observing people who attain great success in careers and have joy in their lives, some overcoming great obstacles, I came to the conclusion that we can only achieve our highest potential if we heal ourselves of our emotional baggage.

Make this a turn-around Thursday!
Beverley