MORE ON LABELS

The more I meditated on Joel Osteen's message on labels the more  I realize how deep and far-reaching this message is.  As I started to become aware of more labels I was unconsciously carrying around, the more I also became aware of the labels I put on people!  It is a two way street my friend.  I could not, as a person who is seeking spiritual wholeness, not see the situations where I go along with a label placed on someone by a group, or groups or an individual or my own label based on my perception of that person!

What a marvellous leap forward in consciousness for me!  It's is just an amazing opportunity to observe myself and others and see how ignorance, ego, lack of selfworth cause people to put out damaging and sometimes damning messages.  I also see how lack of courage cause people who know better to standby, sit on the sidelines and go along with negative typecasting, inappropriate remarks and putdown of others. 

After my first post on labels I've  have had the opportunity to witness how quickly things can change when you have the courage to speak out and stand strong against the types of behavour that subconsciously oppress people.  I have seen peoples minds expand, suddenly realizing how offensive their remarks and lack of empathy and support is and seen them scurrying around offering help in unprecented ways!  Yes, were have the power to effect change, in ourselves, which then expands out into the community and the world around us.

I have been painfully aware of the difficult, uphill battle it is for people to break out of the "frame" others hold them in.  Yes, even you've grown and become a new person, the old piture in that old frame still rules the day, in the eyes of many.  For a long, long time I have been conscious of the fact that people really want to change their lives, they want to feel good, they want to get more out of life but many do not know how.  It's difficult for some people to change unless they are very determined, extremely strong mentally or leave their familiar surroundings a start somewhere else. The sheer weight of the negativity caused by the labels make some people to give up without much of a fight.  Others dont even bother trying, and some will pretend that they dont want to change because they cant picture a different way of being, or they do not want to face the pain associated with the labels. Mostly  the offender doesnt consciously discourage or putdown the other, it happens very subtly.  Other cases just show a sheer lack of confidence in the other.  Take for instance Jake (not the real name), who lives with his elderly parents. Jake was telling me that a friend of theirs who is a member of an organization Jake belongs to wants him to take on an assistant's post in the organization.  The mother perked up, "I told him not to take it, he cant do it, and his father said dont even bother trying, that would be a failure"! My response was Jake, you can do it, I sure you could do it, give it  a shot and see what happens.  Jake shook his head and said "thanks, at least I know I have your support". 

Here is another story that keep popping up in my mind as I thought about the repercussions of labels.  The story of the life of Jane (again, not real name).  Jane was the only daughter born to Gladys.  Gladys was a very ambitious woman, born into poverty in rural Jamaica.  She was beautiful, hard working and had dreams of a prosperous life.  She met and married a man in the capital city of Kingston and they started a business.  He did the technical part of the business and she was the face and energy behind it.  Business was prosperous and they provided well for their children.  The children went to a private prep school, and had driver take them to school.  Unfortunately, the dream came to an end when Gladys got cancer and died.  Jane was seven years old.  The children's world colapsed, the business floundered, life was never again the way the knew it.  Jane became quite a handful as a teen and there were many labels put on her over the years.  She couldnt get away from the labels, she tried in her own way but the labels were stuck. Jane died last summer, she got cancer, not the same cancer that killed her young ambitious mother but close.  She left three children, and boy, oh boy, I can hear and see the pattern of labelling by the family been transferred to these children.  It's something to watch.  Yes, labels go from generation to generations too!

 Some labels require extra effort, time and attention to peel off.  You know the kind - ever bought something at the store and tried to get the old sticky label off?  It's Easter, and I cant think of a better time to reflect on the ultimate label remover, Jesus Christ.  If you are a believe and is still being held back by old useless labels, why not ask Jesus for help, guidance, courage and strength in getting rid of them?

Let me hear your feedback, lets get the conversation going.

Happy Easter,

MissSam

PEELING MY LABELS

Thanks to Joel Osteen for a great broadcast on Sunday March 17th on the topic of getting rid of your labels, you know all those labels that society, our family and workplace place on us.  This message is very deep.  I watched with my niece who is in university and we had a great discussion during and after the broadcast.

The thing is, once you are on a journey for healing and self-realization, a message life this once digested will start a process of accessing "stuff" that needs to be cleansed from the subconscious, and boy of boy, it didnt take long!  Sometimes we think were are over something but there might be fragments or even big chunks that still need to be removed to clear the way for greater peace, more energy, renewed enthusiasm for your life's goals and dreams.  This is what happed to me yesterday, the day after the broadcast. 

Actually the benefit started the same day. After my day's spiritual feast, I went out for my usual Sunday walk, but instead of walking around the neighbourhood and close by trails, I decided to walk to High Park, (Toronto's Central Park) which I wanted to do for three years since I moved to this location.  I have been walking and exploring the city since moving back from the suburbs in 2008.  When I just moved back I rented an apartment on the Bloor subway line at The Old Mill, which is about six subway stops from High Park.  I eventually got fit enough to walk there from my apartment and enjoyed it very much and wanted to do the same from where I am now but never got around to it.

The next day, a friend poped in my office to see me to share an experience she had the Friday before.  As she shared the experience she had, what transpired and how she felt, low and behold, up comes much more anger and disgust about similar situations and individuals.  I thought I was much farther ahead in healing from these labels and stigmas that had enveloped me over many years, like the parasitic plant "love weed" that gets in the hibiscus hedges.  In a strange and twisted way, "all things do work together for good to them that love God", because the total and utter highminded, unthoughtful and demeaning behavour of a Business Owner and one of his sales managers towards a lady who is recovering from a series of devasting life events would actually help me heal from remnants of the pain and anger and the weight of the various labels that were plastered all over me during a period of extreme hardship and struggle in my life is nothing short of a miracle.  The thing is, what this lady went through was enough to put her in a mental hospital and or on permanent disability, and in fact I know of people who have had to deal with less and couldnt overcome and yet with encouragement and a lot of help from collegues, family, friends, and her church community she has made an amazing bounce back from the brink.  You know the saying, never let your good be evil spoken of?  Well, those two had turn a great opportunity to build up this lady's self confidence into an experience to drag her right back down to where she's coming from - but for the grace of God, the fact that she's on a journey of spiritual awakening,  once she recovered from the pain and anger, could see the actual blessing in the situation.  Hear again, what was meant for evil, God has used it for good, to help my friend heal her past, peel off the label of "failure, not good enough, you're not capable of achieving this, you can only be that".  I was able to share Joel's amazingly simple message with her - peel off those labels, stand up with your feet firmly planted on the ground.  Put your shoulders up and your chest out because it doesnt matter what that business owner and his sales manager thinks, it's what you think and believe that truly matters.  Goes to show, that even people whose job it is to help their employees succeed will hinder, put up obstacles, block and discourage you - if you let them!  People in a position of power, because of their own lack of knowledge and limitations are unaware of the damage they cause to others, and sometimes they are just downright dirty.

It was just during the week before this broadcast I was discussing part of my journey with my niece, I told her about the time when my children were young, after their father and I separated and I thought, I cant live off commission, I need a steady income.  I saw an ad in the paper for an executive assistant in the industry I had worked and had the qualifications and the experience for the job so I went to meet with the recruiter.  I sat down for the the interview and the woman looked at me and said "your'e not executive material, but I have another position for you".  I sat through the interview and as I left while walking back to the parking lot I said out loud, you can keep your job lady, I know what I am capable of.  I told my niece, she did me a huge favour, because I stuck to my sales position and because of that I was able to do a lot for my children that women or even couples with nine to five jobs cant do. Then there was this Manager that referred to me as a loser, but you know what, I lived long enough to see this woman lose her VP position during restructuring, and was not even offered a branch manager job, and had to resort to a sales position. Heck,  I've overcome a lot and heck my children both university graduates and are pursuing their life's dreams. 

While driving to the office Monday morning I reflected to myself, yes, I can still be all that I was created to be, I can still accomplish my goals and dreams.  Heck, Michael Lee-Chin is my age, he's a billionaire and has started a new Mutual Fund company and Dealership!  Hillary Clinton was 60 years old when she ran for president of the United States of America!  The only person who can stop me, is me and I'm "getting out of my way"!  I will find every label and peel, pluck and scrub, but consider them gone.

Have a label free day folks!
MissSam

BEEN THINKING ABOUT MENTORING

I had to drive across the city recently and as I made my way across town, I passed a skating rink and immediately my  first thought was "gee, this is still here"!  It was a Friday afternoon quite a few children and young people were enjoying the lovely skating weather.  The reason I had that response was because more than 30 years ago, I used to take these to young boys, recently emegrated from Jamaica, skating at that very rink.  I was just 22 or 23 at the time.  You see, like so many other immigrant families, the mother had come ahead, got situated and went back for the husband and her two boys.  Not long after they arrived, she had a third child.  With a young baby to look after, and hardly any relatives around, I thought I'd help the young fellows break out into Canadian life.  They enjoyed it.  One was also a stamp collector, so I became a stamp collector and since I worked in an office, I would get neat stamps from around the world for him.  I still have my stamp collections!  As they got assimilated into the school system and their community, they were able to hold their own and those activities ended.

Today, the stamp collector is a very successful professional, travelling to many of the places those stamps came from.  The other is also quite successful in his chosen career, and baby?  Doing very, very well. 

I looked back on my life and realized that I've been mentoring children and young people for a very very long time.  I was born to do this, this is my passion, this is my calling, this is my purpose in life.  Every single person that I have mentored has been impactful.  I remember meeting a young girl, she was about eight years old, at an appointment to discuss life insurance with her mother.  I enquired how she was doing in school, and if she love to read.  I encouraged to to read, and promised some of my daughters books.  My daughter was and still is a bookworm.  I made it a point to pack a box on books and delivered it to her home.  When she was about sixteen, her mother was coming to my office to meet me, she told her mom "I like her, can I come with you?"  This young lady finished highschool, will soon be graduating from one of this city's fine universities and since senior year worked at a prestegious law office in town.  Why is this significant, at the time I met her, her mom was divorced, living in one of the most stigmatised communities in this city.  This young woman is a shining example to many young girls.

There are so many examples I can give about the creative ways I've helped individuals pull through difficult situations, turn their life 360degrees.  One last example, when my children were little, I was introduced to this young woman who found herself with a baby boy, no job, baby father no where to be found.  The child was malnurished and hyperactive.  The only way I could help her was to hire her to babysit my children, so I took them out of daycare and took in her and her baby in my appartment!  She stayed with us about two years.  By the time she was leaving, baby blossomed and she got herself together and was dating someone who care for her and her son.  My children loved her dearly and the littleboy was like a brother to them. We kept in touch after she left but after a while lost contact.  Many years later I ran into her at a store in the suburn community where I had moved to.  She had gotten married, became a homeowner in the suburbs and  her son was now a teanager and was doing well in school.  She had even changed his first name as I had suggested because the name she gave him was, in my view, was not one that elicited blessings.  She was estatic when she saw me in the store that day.

Looking back, I wonder, how did I do this?  What made me do this? I am from a family that help people, if someone needs help, my mother never thought about how helping is going to affect her, she only focus her attention on how she can help, and same with me.  Helping and mentoring is rooted in my DNA.  It never ceases to amaze me as to how many bible thumping christians are out there and when someone needs help, their attitude - not my problem.  All these problems we have in society will all but disappear if we only live out faith, practice what we preach!  Easier said than done, I know, because effort is required, and in oder to help another, one has to think about someone other than the self.

I do strongly believe though, the most impactful to help society is one on one.  That's how communities were done before industrialization it still is because everyone wants to know somebody cares about them, that their life matter.  The teanager you turn your face away from when you pass them on the street was once a cuddle little baby you would coo and "gobble-de-gook" to when you met the mother in the supermarket or at the bus stop.  Why not look the teen in the face and say hello, or good morning or good evening when you pass them on their way to school or where ever?  They are people too you know, yes it's an ackward phase in life but I do believe this is a way to bridge the gap and help them transition to adulthood.  Saying hello acknowledges them and tells them you are not afraid of them. You know something else, have a conversation with a young person, you would be quite surprised how intelligent and insightful they are.

Making your mission, reach out and touch somebody's life today.

MissSam