NO MORE "BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT"

Fresh like a rose, renewed hope for the day

My father used to say if you put a white shirt and bow tie on a pig, it is still going roll in the mud!  Pigs do what pigs do, and that does change because you put  shirt and tie on them.  Then there is the proverb, "a leopard never change its spots".  For the longest time I had a hard time with this one because of my innate belief that people can change.  I wrestled with it.  Maya Angelou put it more eloquently: "when someone show you who they are believe them the first time".

With my spiritual evolution I have now gained a deeper understanding of both my father's saying and the proverb.  Here's the thing, people can change if they want to!  Key word is want to - because growth of an individual's consciousness takes effort and commitment and many folks do not want to do the work.  Some of these individuals will mimic change by copying others who have put in the effort, however, it is easy to spot fakers.  Just listen to then carefully when they speak and watch their behaviour.  That's why it is good to develop conversational skills, just having a simple conversation with someone will reveal more about them that asking questions.  Questions can at times seem like interrogation.  People give the answers they think you want to hear consciously or unconsciously - especially seasoned manipulators.  Manipulators are in a class by themselves!  They even do it when there is no need because it is just part of their character.

Giving the benefit of the doubt to the other person is actually overriding what the spirit has shown you.  Your are saying, "this is what I'm feeling but I'm going to override it because I really want to believe you"! We often do this because of the need for acceptance, don't want to rock the boat or maybe there is something you want from the situation that you surrender to the manipulation even though it feels uncomfortable. And what is true that uncomfortable feeling never goes away - it's always as a reminder.   Defer the benefit of the doubt to yourself, that way you are saying "I really want to take the chance with you but I trust the Spirit more for I depend on it's guidance and direction in my life".  Better to err in your favour than to find yourself in a murky situation and then have to call on God to get you out of it.  This is called obedience to the Spirit.

I trust this will be a blessing to someone today.

Grace & Peace,

MissSam
Wednesday July 23, 2014

 

The Ultimate Self-Sabotage

Consider the lilies, they toil not ....... !

I woke up this morning to an "Ah ha" moment!  I have been sluggish of late and haven't been getting up early enough to do my morning routine - Coffee in the backyard, make smoothie & lunch and be able to do my morning walk.  Since the snow melted I've only done my morning walk about 3 times.  I was way more active when it was frigid cold!  Yes, I have been doing gardening but I miss my morning walk.  It certainly make a difference.

I have been consciously delving into this bout of unusual malaise since I was given a clean bill of health at my last check up with  my Family Physician and my Naturopathic Doctor.  A few situations have been surfacing and although I thought they were not a bother, they keep coming back at me, especially when triggered by events.  I decided to call my friend and adviser (we are each others counsel and adviser) and run the scenarios and my thoughts about resolutions by her.  Although all the cases involve different people and settings and in no way bear any similarity they follow a similar pattern so I was determined to get to the bottom of this and break this recurring pattern once and for all. 

As I woke up the impression on my mind was crystal clear - allowing other people's attitude and behaviour toward  me and their  negative energy to infiltrate my psyche drain my energy by preoccupying my mind and detracting me from my tasks at hand.  I become side-tracked by the recurring thought and this was in fact, the ULTIMATE SELF-SABOTAGE!  As I thought about the implications of this phenom I got energized, jumped up out of bed bright eyed and bushy tailed and went on to perform my morning routine, including my prayer, affirmations and my walk.

Part way through the day I called my adviser friend to discuss my "ah ha" for the day as I was so excited to see the light.  Could not help referencing the scripture "Guard your mind......)!  The whole point of this experience deepened my commitment to myself to set clear bounderies with people, deal with issues as soon as appropriate after occurring, be forthright, brave and loving (to myself and other parties) enough to confront and therefore be in charge of my own mental and emotional wellbeing. Actually, I read the book Caring Enough To Confront by +David Augsberger several years ago, so now maybe a good time to revisit it.  Applying wisdom to discern when to act and when to do nothing more than feel  my feelings  in the moment and let it go. Not doing so is akin to turning my life over to my detractors!

I am thankful for the gift of silence because only in silence does the answers to life's challenges come with such clarity and peace.

Glad to get this monkey off my back! 

Grace and peace,

MissSam
July 10, 2014